Fear

The sun has gone down on an unprecedented weekend in our times.

Times are uncertain, some of us are isolated and most of us are fearful.

Fearful of the virus,

fearful of being alone,

fearful of losing our jobs,

fearful of being shut away from the rest of society,

fearful for the future.

It is almost like I am writing an excerpt from a movie, except this is real and here. 9/11 was the same, you watch it over and over again, and still nearly 20 years on it is unbelievable. Nobody saw this coming and nobody knows when it will end. That creates fear, and we have many reasons to be fearful. No vaccine, little knowledge and complete and utter ignorance among much of the population mean we may be in these very difficult conditions for many, many months.

It's only two days in and already my nerves are shredded.

I can find things to do within my own flat, with a laptop, many DVDs and over 150 books, but I am alone, and after next Saturday I do not know when I will again see either my girlfriend or anyone else. I have very little social contact as it is, and I do not care about going to the pub or a restaurant, but I do care about being with the person I love, and I do care about my sanity.

We all have social media, email and the phone, so I will be making use of it all to stay in touch with as many people as possible.

Today I went for a long walk in the countryside, keeping away from people and capturing the beauty of a stunning spring day.

The Fife Countryside is truly magnificent, and my move to Cupar has been tremendous because of it being so central, enabling me to explore much more of our splendid country.

I am keeping up my 10,000 steps each day to retain my fitness and burn energy.

The time will come very soon that this is not possible, and it seems very likely now that I will be completely alone for quite some time, and this is when reading books and writing will be essential.

I will share the books I am reading and my continued thoughts on life over the coming days, weeks and months.

Until we are put in a lock down I will continue to wander around the countryside and the town, whilst socially distancing responsibly and capture the beauty to put light relief out there for you.

I am washing my hands many times per day, before and after I eat especially and before I leave the house and after I return.

I am socially distancing by living alone.

But I am Fearful of the virus,

fearful of being alone,

fearful of losing my job if this shutdown goes on for months,

fearful of being shut away from the rest of society and not seeing the ones I love,

and I am fearful for the future.

However, a positive note.

I believe in fate.

The last 10 years and more have been up and down like a roller-coaster. Decisions by myself and others have led to where I am now. Some of those decisions have caused great disturbance and great upset, and maybe what follows this rude interruption to life will be even better.